I have been struggling this semester with my walk with God. I guess I should say that my walk is changing. For the first time in a long time I am growing deeper in my walk and it really hurts me to think of what I have been or not been doing the past few years. I have a problem with pride. I took a position as the Youth Summer Intern for two years and thought I had achieved something great. Wrong I see now that I got in the way and blocked God out from doing some great things in my life through those students.
I have heard some worship leaders say before that if you truly do not believe what the words of a song say then do not sing them just stay silent. Well I have not had the choice in that matter. When I enter into a time of worship HE meets there and really has started pulling on my heart strings. The Holy Spirit just starts convicting me of what I am not doing in my life. This results in my not being able to sing the words of some songs. It is like he takes my voice and allows me not to use it.
At first this was something that really bothered me. I did not know what was happening or why it was happening. Now I know that it is God sending his refining fire to cleanse and purify me of my sins. To be honest it still bothers me but I know what is going on and can take comfort in the process even though it is still a struggle. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak is a statement that is very true in my life and I have to take time to work on that!
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